Bah Humbug. We do not do Santa in the Ortega house.

There goes the band-aid. Now before you start judging us about how we are depriving our children of magic, let us explain…

How Santa Ended

What kid doesn’t like getting gifts and believing in magic? If we could manage it, we would still LOVE to believe in a jolly round man who freely gifts us things if it meant getting a new home appliance every winter. My how adulthood changes the Christmas wish list!

There is definitely nothing inherently wrong with the whole Santa thing. And we don’t harbor any judgement towards families who embrace the tale. But for us, what we did not like was how it all ended.

It was anti-climactic; one day we believed, and the next day we didn’t. At some point we became old enough to know the truth: it was just our parents gifting us stuff from them and stuff from them signed Santa. And that was it. Sure, we kept up the charade for our younger siblings, but eventually it all stopped. No more writing letters, hoping you were good enough that year, trying to stay awake late enough to hear the reindeer on the roof, and crossing your fingers that you got exactly what you asked for.

Christmas became really different after there was no more Santa. There was less magic and excitement, and frankly, more stress.

We agreed before we got married that we weren’t going to do Santa in our family. After our oldest was born we told our parents our decision, and they were not happy. (Cue protests about the lack of magic, lack of imaginative fun, and lack of memories). But our minds were made up.

What We Hope For

Neither of us particularly enjoyed the Santa fantasy. And so far, our kids haven’t really seemed to notice that this cosmic void existed. Christmas still comes and goes with great anticipation, playful imagination, and plenty of happy memories.

It’s not that we don’t want our children to experience the magic and joy of the Christmas season, it’s that we don’t want the magic and joy to be wrapped up in the existence of a non-existent fantastical figure. We want our children to be able to value the entirety of the holiday: Christ’s birthday celebrated with hope, gratitude, decorations, gift giving and receiving, Christmas jammies, and sweets on sweets on sweets.

We want our kids to experience a type of Christmas that doesn’t revolve around Santa, an elf on the shelf, and them being naughty or nice. (This type of thinking towards good behavior paves the way for some detrimental thinking about God down the line…we digress…that’s for another post)

What We Do Instead

Instead, this is how we decided to tackle Santa…

Our kids know that Santa is real in that he is a character that depicts St. Nicholas, a good friend of Jesus who celebrated His birthday by giving gifts to children. He’s found in stories, Christmas movies, and at the mall.

We like Santa, and we want to be like Santa. And so we are.

As Christmas approaches, we make a big deal to help each sibling prepare or purchase specially suited gifts for each other and for their Godparents. In the spirit of God gifting us His only Son and gifts being an expression of our love for one another, we embody Santa for each other. He teaches us the joy of giving and the joy of celebrating Jesus’s birth.

We’ve just never told the kids he’s not real, but he’s also never visited our house early Christmas morning either.

On Christmas morning we all have the joy of gifting and receiving for and from each other modeled by the character of Mr. Claus. It is in that exchange that our bond with each other is strengthened by our involvement in the others’ interests, happiness, and excitement. Have you ever watched a three year old carefully select a gift, awkwardly wrap it, and then observe them as they give it to someone else?! Magical.

Our Take on Traditions

Regardless of how others choose to celebrate holidays and if they include the traditional characters or not, we do encourage you as a family to develop celebrations that are unique to you. Set goals for these special life events, be aware of the characteristics and dynamics of your family that make you unique, and create your own traditions accordingly. What will have the greatest impact on your children and your spouse will not be how well you copied others’ ways of celebrating, but how well you knew and loved one another, embraced what makes you a family, and honored the reason for the celebration.

Pax. - Renzo & Monica

Also, to prove that we’re not complete Grinches ;-), here is a post about celebrating Christmas with Santa Claus that we really appreciated by Katie Prejean McGrady: Catholic parents: It’s O.K. to let your kids believe in Santa.