4 Ways To Reach Your Goals When You Lack Motivation
It’s easy to get motivated.
New Years, a retreat, a Rocky movie - any one of those things can get us excited and motivated to make big changes. However, once the excitement wears off and the emotional tank runs low, we tend to put those big changes on the back burner. We convince ourselves that we can always come back to our goals later, and that we’re really not that bad the way we are.
Fast forward a few months and we find ourselves back where we started. Here we can listen to St. Josemaria Escriva’s wisdom:
"To begin is easy; to persevere is sanctity. Let your perseverance not be a blind consequence of the first impulse, the work of inertia: let it be a reflective perseverance."
Real, lasting change doesn’t come as a consequence of the first impulse.
Pauline Conversion
Sometimes, St. Paul’s conversion is held up as the example of how a single moment can change someone’s life forever. Though I agree that St. Paul’s experience of Christ on the road to Damascus changed the trajectory of his life, I don’t agree with the idea that this single moment can change everything.
St. Paul went from a devout Jew to a devout Christian after encountering Christ. He did not learn how to be devout in that moment with Jesus. He already possessed all the markings of a good Jew prior to his encounter.
It took a lifetime for St. Paul to become the devout Jew he was went he met Jesus. The moment of encounter changed St. Paul’s life, in that it made him realize whom Jesus was. The moment did not suddenly infuse him with discipline, virtue, and perseverance necessary for devotion. St. Paul already possessed that.
We need to build up that type of perseverance as well. We can’t spend our time hoping that singular moments will change us into the people God wants us to be.
Change comes over time, through perseverance. And perseverance grows when motivation is no where to be found. Periods of motivational droughts are common in the active and the spiritual life. If we really want to make lasting changes, we will need more than just the desire to improve.
So as we all strive to become better, I’ve put together four strategies you can use to keep growing, when you no longer feel motivated.
1) Set Up A Routine
Before you jump on the motivation train, you need to set up a game plan. That doesn’t mean you need to lay every little thing out, but you need to have an idea of what success looks like. Define the win and build a road map of steps you need to take to reach your goal.
For example, if your goal is to have a better prayer life. First identify what you mean by better, and then build a routine around your goal.
Once you define the win, you can start to build around that. Do you want to incorporate more scripture into your prayer life? Great! Here’s an example of a routine built around that goal:
Set Alarm for 6AM the night before
Wake up with the alarm
Get cup of coffee
Go sit in a comfortable and private area
Crack open the Bible
The reason the routine aspect is so because when motivation begins to dwindle - and it will - you will be able to rely on your routine to keep you moving in the right direction.
You might struggle with the concept of doing step 5 in our example. However, if you’re used to the routine of it, autopilot can carry you from steps 1 through 4. You may not necessarily want to read the Bible one morning. But if you get yourself up, have a few sips of coffee, and are sit in your usual spot - you’ll think to yourself, “Since I’m here, I might as well crack open the Bible.”
The same is true with exercising more, spending more time with your family, eating better, and writing for your blog . If you set up a routine around the goal, you can lean on the routine to keep you going when motivation and excitement are lacking.
2) Think Baby Steps Vs Home Run
When I coached basketball, if my team was down by a large deficit, it was typical to see the players start to throw up 3’s thinking that one big shot would save the day.
As the coach, I would do my best to remind them, that one big shot, or one big moment won’t change the outcome. Instead it’s the consistent effort moment to moment that yields results.
If we think “home run” or “one big moment” right away, we might be setting ourselves up for failure. Instead of saying, “I’m going to run 3 miles everyday” when it’s been years since you last ran, try setting up smaller goals that you can consistently crush. It’s much more prudent and think in baby steps.
“I’m going to run 3 miles everyday” should be broken down into:
I’m going to go for three walks this week
The following week I’m going to walk at least 2 miles during my walks
The following week I’m going to run part of the way during my walks
The following week I’m going to run one day out of the three days
and so on.
Whatever your goal is, plan out the baby steps along with your new routine. High motivation dreams for home run type change, but a home run won’t yield the results you’re looking for. Instead, aim for baby steps that will bring you one step closer every week. This consistency will give you tangible evidence that you are making progress, and it will help you last beyond the initial burst of motivation.
3) Anticipate The Drought
Be ready for boredom, discouragement, or desolation to hit.
If you were excited on January 1st to get in the gym, and throw some weight around, be prepared for the motivation to be gone come February.
If you were on a spiritual high after that retreat, be prepared for the spiritual consolation to be gone in a couple of weeks (or days).
I’m not saying this to discourage you. But, whether in the active or spiritual life, we aren’t meant to ride highs and jump on bandwagons forever. Virtue is cultivated when we exercise our free choice to choose the good when we don’t feel like it. Our ability to choose the opposite of how we feel, is what makes us human. Animals are governed by their instincts, we are governed by our intellect and will.
The drought isn’t a sign that you need to quit, or that what you took on as a goal is a mistake. The drought is a normal part of the process. St. Ignatius of Loyola teaches us that in times of desolation (spiritual drought) never make a change, but instead stick to the spiritual resolutions you made while in consolation (spiritual high).
When the drought hits, don’t start looking to be re-motivated, or reinvigorated. You might feel tempted to run to another “thing” that will give you that spiritual bump, or proverbial kick in the pants that will motivate you through drought. If you do this for your spiritual life, you’ll find yourself living from retreat to retreat hoping that spiritual highs will carry your devotion.
But you cannot our run the drought. Don’t fear the drought. The drought is part of the process. So expect it, and lean into it.
Recognize the drought as the opportunity to grow. If you really want something bad enough, you will choose to keep going when everything else in you wants to stop.
Anticipate the drought - and choose to keep going. That’s where perseverance is born.
4) Never Give Up
No matter what our goals are, there are going to bumps in the road, set backs, and days that we just straight up failed. Whether you need the Sacrament of Reconciliation or just a quick pep talk - don’t give up.
Anything worth anything is going to be difficult. You will only reach your goals when you learn to move beyond what’s comfortable, and progress is anything but comfortable.
You weren’t made for comfort.
You weren’t made for easy.
Pope Benedict XVI puts it perfectly for us when he says, “The ways of the Lord are not easy, but we were not created for an easy life, but for great things, for goodness […] Those who desire comforts have dialed the wrong number. Rather, [Christ] shows us the way to great things, the good, towards an authentic human life.”
Our goals and our growth are the keys to living life well. Trust that the grace necessary for your growth is there, and continue to move. Six months from now, when you look back and see the progress you’ve made, you’ll be happy you pushed through and kept going.
Motivation is only the beginning, perseverance is what will get you to the finish line. So start running, and run as to win.
"Do you not know that the runners in the stadium all run in the race, but only one wins the prize? Run so as to win. Every athlete exercises discipline in every way. They do it to win a perishable crown, but we an imperishable one."
-1 Corinthians 9:24-25
Verso L’alto - Renzo