Since I was in grade school, I wanted to be a teacher. I played pretend school as a young child, forcing my younger siblings to be my students. In my last year of high school, I took every child development course offered and even had the privilege of time teaching in preschool classes.

In college, majoring in education was a no-brainer; I worked for the public schools for four years facilitating an after-school program. I am dual certified. My master’s degree is in Educational Leadership. Professionally, I’ve been blessed to teach students ranging from 4th grade through seniors in high school. I love to learn. I love to teach. I love school. So then, why do I homeschool?

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We know that our readers come from a variety of backgrounds. Some are educators themselves, many are products of public school education, others support private school learning, and some homeschool their own children.

I will be the very first to admit that I was a reluctant homeschooling parent. I was, actually, quite adamant that I would never homeschool my children. I feared a lack of respect for authority, inability to follow directions in a group setting, proper socialization, and maintaining healthy relationships. I valued the process it took to become a certified educator and I honor the work teachers do. I also wondered how I could possibly educate my children while also caring for babies, keeping the house clean, preparing three meals a day, and maintaining my sanity. And, to be honest, I still wrestle with all of these and more.

Let me be clear…There is no one right way to educate children, but there can be a best way for your family. To imagine that any school, format, style, or curriculum is the perfect recipe for whole human development is a fairytale. And the perceived competition between public, private, and home is an absurd oversimplification of a dynamic task; raising children is not a straightforward one-size-fits-all vocation.

These are simply my observations as a former classroom teacher turned stay at homeschooling mom, and this post is merely meant to share a small glimpse into our comparison of our options in order to enhance the dialogue of educational choices and to offer some points to consider when deciding what method may be best for your family.

Before I share specifically how our family came to this decision, I’d like to share some of my feelings about homeschooling in the form of a good old-fashioned pros and cons list. This list is not meant to be exhaustive, nor is it an attempt to persuade anyone in one direction or another.

And now for my list:

Pro: Freedom

When homeschooling your children, you’re welcomed with a great number of freedoms that you often forfeit when sending them to a brick and mortar. Choice of curriculum, discipline models, differentiation strategies, religious and spiritual practices, medical choices…the list goes on.

Socially, we have more freedom to monitor what and who our children interact with. We can encourage or filter media, political agendas, and friend groupings.

As a teacher, I experienced firsthand the restrictions the classroom can produce including, time limitations, class sizes, pacing calendars, budgetary restrictions, parent involvement, administrative involvement, curriculum maps, etc.

Students educated each other on all sorts of topics, many of which they’re too young, underdeveloped, and immature to fully grasp. Teachers can only do so much to mitigate bullying and teasing in a large group while also managing behaviors, all while educating their students in several content areas.

While homeschooling, I can make decisions I feel best for my family, consult my husband, and go from there.

Con: Freedom

With great freedom comes great responsibility. The freedom built into homeschooling can run amuck without accountability. And at the end of the day, all decisions fall on us.

School systems succeed when well-intentioned, well-educated, well-versed, and experienced professionals collaborate to meet the needs of their students. And the hierarchy of a school system allows for checks and balances of power and decision making.

At home, solo decision making can be daunting. Curriculum options can seem endless. Social activities can appear finite. Medical journals can read convoluted. And I’m not a perfect Christian.

How can I make up my mind on any of this, let alone all of it?!

I’ve observed, and even felt tempted by, two extreme approaches to homeschool freedom:

1. Scorched Earth - blow up the “system” and teach only what I feel is necessary, interesting, or basic. Some may call this approach “unschooling”.

2. Paralysis by Analysis - overwhelmed by all of the responsibilities, just avoid and coast. Toss the assignments at my kids and hope they do it. If they don’t, “oh well”.

Neither offers the fullness that young children need, and have left children, from my observed experience, struggling to fill the gaps of knowledge, discipline, integration, and motivation as they enter adulthood. They’re not prepared for the “real world”.

We don’t live in a vacuum. Our children are not of the world, but they do live it in; therefore, we need to prepare them well both academically and socially. We need to rely on feedback from a community to keep our methods and our motives in check. And we need to be willing to look for support in the areas we are weak.

With freedom comes the resources to research, participate, and outsource!

Pro: Family Time

Homeschooling, undoubtedly, affords us much more family time. Our classmates, playmates, teammates, and project partners are each other!

We get to eat every meal together. We read stories together. We play educational games together.

Homeschooling has offered insight into the personalities, learning advantages, learning disadvantages, confidences, and struggles of each of our children that we would not have had, at least not so early on, as we would have otherwise.

We can go on vacations or visit people we love when we want to because we don’t have a formal calendar to keep.

Siblings can help and support one another with lessons. Older siblings get to watch in awe as younger ones reach developmental milestones. Younger siblings admire older siblings as they grow and learn.

Everyone can experience the gifts and talents of the others first hand on a daily basis.

Con: Family Time

Family time, when homeschooling, is 24/7. School, extra curricular activities, leisure, work, can all overlap and blur together. There is very little independent time if not intentionally carved out.

Boundaries can be broken and relationships can get confusing when parent is also teacher, child is also student. Children become confused in how, when, or where certain behaviors are acceptable or not. It can be difficult for the same person to expect academic attention, household chores, and polite behavior all day every day.

Typical sibling quarrels and bickering are more frequent. There is even the occasional competitive argument about who hit a particular reading or math milestone first - and those are never healthy. Siblings are classmates, but aren’t necessarily peers. With age gaps come differing levels of development, but they’re too young to understand that difference. “Why does she only have to do school work for 10 minutes at a time, but I have to sit here for 25?!”

If you need a break, there usually isn’t one. This goes for the parents from the kids, the children from the parents, and even the siblings from one another. Heck, I feel like I’m smothered by tiny humans with big feelings on the daily!

This challenge is also an opportunity to mend those wounds, practice setting those boundaries in a safe space, and purposefully recognize and address the need for space.

Pro: Flexibility

Schedules, strategies, and settings can all be adapted to the needs of your family, convenience, or for variety.

Are your kids morning people or are they more productive in the afternoon? Plan accordingly. Do you have plans for a day? Load up on extra work earlier or later in the week. Going somewhere? Bring the work with you.

In the education world, we call adapting our lesson plans to the needs of the students “differentiation”. In homeschooling, it is much easier to differentiate for your learners because your class size is significantly smaller. Differentiation means using various strategies to introduce, teach, practice, and assess new learning. And homeschooling offers great flexibility in making sure your students, your children, learn in the way that they learn best.

At home, kids can work in a group setting or independently. At a table, on the floor, or on the couch. On a swivel chair or standing at the counter. All of these are tools teachers wish they could use more often, but in the classroom, managing all of the options with many students can be nearly impossible daily, though, I know that they use them as often as possible.

Con: Flexibility

Flexibility can be a tricky concept for children. Many children thrive on routine and consistency. School offers schedules, clear expectations, and specific measuring sticks for success and need for improvement.

Children can feel anxiety and can get into mischief when they don’t know what is happening next, how they are supposed to behave, or where they fit into the mix.

Homeschooling lends itself to a more casual timeframe of the day, less intentional transitions from one subject or activity to the next, and wiggle room for interruptions in the form of appointments, errands, or visitors. If the parent has a project that needs to get done, typically the schooling falls to the wayside for that time.

“Idle hands are the devil’s playground” rings true for a preschooler without a cause. Be careful not to get too swept away by the allure of flexibility.

Pro: Foundation

As a parent, you have been specifically paired with your child for an eternal purpose: Heaven. God chose you because He knows you’re the best person for this particular job.

No one knows their child better than a parent. And while you may need help finessing the tools to be your child’s best advocate, caretaker, and educator, you have the most important tool available: God’s grace.

Only you can make the best decisions for your family because you see all of the tiny elements that, painted together, create the big picture. Using both perspectives, you can do it!

Con: Foundation

Educators have spent years of their life, significant amounts of money, and extensive emotional energy working on their craft. No educator enters the field of teaching because it’s an easy out. We all know how important our role in the classroom is and value each student as a unique individual.

While no teacher is perfect, each one is using their experiences, their training, their peers, and their resources to do their very best.

And their very best is quite good! Teachers can pick up on changes in home life, identify learning disabilities, and manage changes in behaviors quite acutely. And if they can’t, they have a team (admins, counselors, and department heads) to support them.

The vast majority of homeschool parents do not have a background in child development nor education strategies; while Pinterest can off creative activities, it lacks the depth of foundational tools that teachers have in their toolbox when implementing the lessons.

A teacher’s foundation is in education. A parent’s foundation is in their child.

For parents who homeschool, I challenge you to read resources in child development, differentiation, and classroom management. Consider taking a class or two, reach out to a teaching friend, or possibly outsource some subject areas that you feel weak in.

Your Turn

Ultimately, we did just this: a cost-benefit analysis of the options we had for educating our children. We made a list of our priorities and chose the option that maximized achieving those goals. For us, that was homeschooling. For now. It may change in a few years. The choice is not permanent.

This was my list from my perspective…what does your list look like? What concerns do you have and what perks do you find in alternative schooling options?

Whether you’re a new parent considering homeschool, a retired teacher who loved being in the classroom, or somewhere in the middle, I want to hear from you!

Leave a comment or send us a message on social media and let’s keep the discussion going!

Fiat. - Monica