Hearts Divided With Fear And Great Joy
“So they departed quickly with fear and great joy, and ran to tell his disciples” -Matthew 28:8
Old stories don’t usually hold our attention. There’s not much of an incentive to listen, or pay attention, when you know the ending.
Unfortunately, this can happen when we read the Easter story, because we know it: the women go to find Jesus, the angel is there, the tomb is empty. Jesus is alive. The story doesn’t change.
Sometimes it’s hard to see how a story that is fixed can fit into a life that is constantly in flux.
The Gospel accounts and the Easter story don’t change. But we do.
Inevitably, we are different from the last time we heard this story. And at no other point in history is this sentiment more universal than right now. If you had told me, this time last year, that #quarantinelife would be the new normal, I wouldn’t have believed you. But here we are; things have changed from one year to the next.
And yet, in our constantly changing lives, God speaks a new message within the same Easter story. His timelessness is revealed in how new and personalized the story can seem if we only pay attention.
So I paid attention today.
When I read the Gospel readings for the Easter Vigil, the verse that stuck out to me was Matthew 28:8: “So they departed quickly with fear and great joy.” I have probably read or heard that verse multiple times in my life and it never resonated. But today it did.
I took a moment and imagined what it must have felt like for the women to be feeling two seemingly contradictory emotions, simultaneously. Fear and great joy. Not just regular ole joy, but great joy.
That’s kind of how I feel now, awaiting the celebration that comes tomorrow in the middle of a pandemic.
There are just too many things to fear right now. And as much as Sunday brings this experience of great joy, it also brings about an experience of heart-felt division that I wasn’t really aware of until this morning.
To be honest my heart is probably divided more times than I’d like to acknowledge this side of the confessional. But I believe that my experience of division is more obvious to me this year, because the fear is very tangible.
And as the sun rises on Sunday, I can rejoice that He is risen, that He is victorious, and it truthfully brings me great joy that I get to share and participate in His Resurrection.
But come Monday, life will still look the same. It’s hard to feel like I’m going into Easter divided. But as a read the Gospel, I realize my experience isn’t unique to me.
Maybe you feel that way too. As great as Sunday is, when Monday rolls around you’re still stuck inside, you can’t see your friends, you’re still sick, and there’s still so much to fear. It feels like despite Christ’s resurrection….nothing’s changed.
As the women ran to tell the others with divided hearts, they meet Jesus and He spoke directly to their hearts, and with the same words He speaks to ours now:
“And behold Jesus met them, and said, “Hail” (Mt 28:9)
The word “hail” is translated from the Greek chairó which can also be translated as “rejoice.” Imagine instead, that the first thing Jesus says to these two followers - followers who are trying reconcile the trauma they’ve experienced with the good news they’ve just heard - with the command to…rejoice.
Should they be afraid because so much has gone wrong in the last few days, or should they be rejoicing because, maybe, their Lord has risen?
There might still be things to fear, but the Lord is risen and we shall rejoice. And what about the fear? He tells us:
“Do not be afraid.” (Mt 28:10)
Take some time read the 28th chapter of Matthew’s Gospel one your own, and let this old story speak new life.
Regardless of the situation we find ourselves in, God still has something to say. I pray we all listen attentively even if we know the ending. Because in the midst of fear we have a reason to rejoice.
May we rejoice Easter morning, and every morning after that.
Verso L’alto - Renzo