A Reluctant Homeschool Mom's Advent 2020 Reflection

As the new liturgical year begins and the calendar year comes to a close, we’re confident that we are not the only ones who have used Advent 2020 to do some serious reflecting. We’d like to share some of our recent thoughts as we prepare for Christmas in just a few short days.

Mary and Joseph’s “Fiat”

A few months back, a small group of teen girls that I have the privilege of walking with through youth ministry were discussing their desire to do more in their prayer life. In conclusion, we decided to read the daily Gospel each morning. So, as I say my morning prayers and read through the daily readings, I send them a picture of the Gospel story of the day. Sometimes we just read it, other times the girls ask questions, and some days they comment on how the message effects their life. This week, I got the sweet message that, in reading through the beginning of Matthew and Luke, she has been renewed with hope and excitement for Christmas. Her reply got me thinking…

In summary, the first chapters of Matthew (read last week) and Luke (read this week) recount Christ’s ancestry through Joseph back to before the reign of King David proving His promised lineage, share the story of the angel Gabriel appearing to Mary and her acceptance of God’s will of her handmaidship, detail Joseph’s visit from Gabriel in a dream assuring him of Mary’s fidelity and his “yes” to bringing Mary into his home, tell of Mary’s trip to see her cousin Elizabeth to rejoice in her pregnancy and Elizabeth’s celebration of Mary’s holiness, and of course finally, the journey of the Holy Family to Bethlehem during a time of great trial while 9 months pregnant (“No thank you”, says this third trimester lady!) to give birth in a stable.

While remembering this beautiful tale of our salvation history and Christ’s less than glamorous entrance into the world, I was struck with the challenge God gives to us each day to say “fiat”; “let it be done according to Your word”. Further, I was blown away by the realization that He gives us examples of this “yes” within a family. I’ll be honest, “fiat” is one of my all time favorite calls to holiness and hardest part of my faith to live out. So, in true cool-millennial fashion, I had it tattooed on my wrist to remind me everyday to get out of my own way.

So, as I reflect on my year and prepare what lies ahead, I find myself asking: Where have I openly accepted God’s will in my role as wife and mother this year? Where have I resisted? What has encouraged me or discouraged me? And what kinds of fruit have grown from my “yeses”, my hesitation, and my outright “not this time, Big Guy” responses?

Enter 2020

One adventure I never would have chosen for myself was homeschooling. If you had told me in February that I, a small talking extrovert, would have been stuck at home with my kids 24/7 for days to weeks on end with the added task of educating them academically, I probably would have had a panic attack. For a whole host of reasons (some logical and most emotional), I had been openly against homeschooling.

Then March 2020 hit with both a pandemic and a husband on the frontlines. Isolation of #TeamOrtega was safest for our family as well as our friends and relatives. And for whatever reason, the transition happened smoothly. The concept was somehow “easy” for me to accept; it was just what needed to be done. So that is what we did. The kids adapted beautifully. I didn’t hate my life the way I had imagined I would. And we survived. I prayed. ALOT. And it helped.

Fast forward to having to make the decision for the new school year. Again, we were faced with the decision of how to proceed for schooling our children. With the assumption of another Covid outbreak in Renzo’s nursing home, we (somehow seamlessly) said “yes” to homeschooling. I even found myself excited as I researched curriculums, bought fun supplies, and decorated our “classroom”.

The fruit from our family “fiat” to hunker down and focus inward has been improved quality time together including daily family dinners, better focus on the kids’ areas of academic weakness, and increased responsibility towards chores and household tasks since we’re here…all…the…time. Personally, I have learned to let go of many things that used to cause me stress and anxiety before, I surprisingly yell a bit less than I used to, and I opened myself up joyfully to new life with Benedict after struggling with the idea of facing pregnancy and possibly PPD again.

Following Momma’s Lead

When Mary said “yes”, God gifted her with the graces necessary for the job He had planned for her. In her heart and in her home, she prepared a place for both the Savior of the World and for a tiny helpless baby who could do little more than poop and fuss on His own.

Joseph’s “fiat” included silent acceptance of a plan not his own and the protection of his wife and foster child. In his faith and in his trade, he prepared to man up to the task. God blessed Him with the graces needed to carry out His mission.

When we’re asked to answer God’s call for goodness, it often looks different than our plans. It is intimidating. We wonder how the heck it can possibly be done, let alone done well. But that is evidence of our self-reliance. In response to our choosing God’s will, He gifts us abundantly with the graces required for that journey. We didn’t have them before because we didn’t need them then. In His time and with His love, we are able.

Apparently this season required my surrender, and ultimately, I have been blessed with the graces to do so.

Fiat - Monica