No Job, No I'm SAHD

Last Friday was my last day working a full-time job. My lovely wife and I are switching roles. She will be returning to the classroom and teaching high school level math, while I spend my days changing diapers, breaking up fights, and debating which one of my kids I would take on a life raft with me in a titanic scenario. K’s been put on notice.

The idea of being a stay-at-home dad with three kids under four years old wasn’t that daunting to me. Then my wife decided to do a “trial run” and I failed to adequately dress our newborn, and the boys had marshmallows for lunch. I have my work cut out for me.

I also have to deal with the social baggage that comes with being a Stay-at-Home Dad. For as long as I can remember I have identified with the work I’ve done and the title I held. When meeting new people the career question is standard,

“So, Renzo, what do you do?”

I know that my answer determines a lot of how I’ll be perceived and received by people I meet. Occupation and career track can tell us about someone’s social class, possible income, and education. So when I respond with, “I’m a stay-at-home-dad” what box do I go in? How will people respond to that? I’ve already started to hear it from co-workers and friends that know I was making this move: “Mr. Mom”, “Daddy Daycare” or they’ll ask me, “This is only temporary, right?”

I’m still figuring out how to best respond, and after enough uncomfortable conversations , I know I’ll come up with something good.  But this decision wasn’t easy, though the idea of spending everyday hanging with my kids seems great, I hate chores. But desire has been building in me for a while to do more. Maybe one day I can put all this into a compact and clever Facebook Status, but for anyone who has the time, here’s why:

I’m staying home because the work I’ve been doing until now is not the work I feel called to do. After a lot of prayer and discernment Monica and I decided that I should follow what’s been put on my heart and see where I’m led. My passion, for years, has been to serve others, through sports and ministry, and talk about Jesus. For the last three years, any time that was not spent in the office, was dedicated to one of those ministries. It got to a point that I couldn’t dedicate the time I wanted to the ministry endeavors and, compounding the issue, family time was suffering. Something had to give. And slowly God provided a path to make it a reality for our family.

If you ask me how long I plan on staying home, I’m not sure. I do know that I am going to dedicate more time and effort to the ministries that I’m a part of, and I’m going to make an effort to be a more present husband and father.

Part of me also feels called to write. I hope to write a book one day, about what I don’t know, but it sounds ambitious enough right? For now I’ll blog.  I may get only five readers.  If you’re one of those five you’ll hopefully get a new perspective into the life of a Catholic Millennial/Stay-at-Home Dad who loves Jesus, and occasionally swears at his three year old.

When people ask me what I do for a living this year I’ll do my best reply confidently,

“I’m a stay-at-home dad.”

I’m nervous about this. I don’t know what box that’ll put me in.

Lazy?

Not ambitious?

Girly man?

I’d be lying if I said that didn’t matter to me at this point, but my goal is to not fit in any boxes that others create.

I’m a SAHD, husband, youth minister, coach.

This is my box.