When Should Wives Submit? (Part 2)
What does Jordan Peterson have to say about marital submission? We take a listen to his conversation with his wife, Tammy, and respond…
Something we can all agree on:
Marriage, one of the most sacred and profound institutions, is often laden with misconceptions and misunderstood dynamics. One such misunderstood concept is submission, which carries with it a societal stigma, often associated with “involuntary servitude”. However, in our recent podcast episode, we explore the intricate dance of marriage by dissecting submission, adversity, and balance. We redefine submission not as an oppressive act, but as a conscious choice of mutual respect and understanding.
In a surprising conversation between the Petersons, inspired by an audience member question, they highlight the need to break down societal stigmas of the phrase used by St. Paul and emphasize that mutual respect is the core of a healthy marriage.
Why did this get so twisted?
Truly - because of Adam and Eve.
We know the Gospel message: Jesus came to save us from sin, to redeem our loves, and begin to restore creation as it was meant to be. St. Paul, in Ephesians 5, shares how we can participate in this resoration.
But to understand what St. Paul means, we should first really understand the ramifications of the story of Adam and Eve: the unraveling of not only human’s relationship with God, but also the dynamics of a man-woman relationship within a marriage. In the beginning, woman was created as a 'help meet' or a 'beneficial adversary’ to man. This starkly contrasts the conventional narrative on gender roles. She was made to help, protect, and cooperate with him.
Oh wow, ok, so now what?
We need to explore the intersection of freedom, voluntary participation, and game theory (yes, really). This idea theorizes that marriage can be seen as a game that pushes us to the limits of our abilities, much like parents do for their children. This approach adds a new dimension to understanding marriage, taking it beyond mere societal norms and expectations, to one that is uniquely intimate to each couple. It provides a fresh perspective on how the dynamics of marriage can play out when viewed through the lens of mutual growth and understanding. Competition is not always toxic.
Beneficial Adversary
While it may seem counter-intuitive at first, having a partner who challenges you, who pushes you to improve, can lead to a more fulfilling relationship. It is important to note how differently men and women can approach this challenge. Ultimately, though, this approach is about finding a balance in leadership, trust, and mutual submission.
Marriage is not a battleground for power struggles, but rather a place of desire and execution of that desire: the good of the other. Submission, when understood in its true sense, can be an empowering choice leading to mutual growth and deeper understanding. A beneficial adversary, rather than being a source of conflict, can be a catalyst for improvement and personal growth.
Listen to the episode here.